Movie poster for The Pope's Exorcist

Sometimes the time arises to put on "whatever the first thing you see on the streaming site that no one loudly objects to" and sometimes when you do so, that movie is The Pope's Exorcist. Did it serve its purpose? Yes, it did. Was it good? Silly question, it was never intended to be good. It exactly met those expectations. But despite that, it did have some surprises in store for me.

One of those surprises is that this movie is notable for having absolutely zero twists or turns. Every single Good character is simply Good. Every single Bad character is Bad. Everyone's motivations are exactly what they appear to be upon their introduction, and they do exactly what it seems like they will do. It was actually a kind of surprising outcome, as I waited for whatever twist it was going to throw in (will he have to exorcise the Pope himself? will this other guy be in on it? and so on) only to have absolutely nothing be any different than it was first presented. I can't remember ever seeing any movie play it so straight. Lord of the Rings has more surprising outcomes, and it's basically a straight moral fable.

One thing that is not a surprise is that the writing isn't great sometimes, and you can see a lot of movie conventions kind of getting in the way of things. Russell Crowe is an admittedly compelling figure in the movie, very charismatically moving his way through it with little jokes but a solemn demeanor at the same time, but the token American family really feels like they believed they were in a totally different movie, a much less solemn and more B-type horror movie, far more akin to a bad 90s or 2000s-era reboot of The Exorcist or The Omen than this movie that on some level wants to actually be solemn despite the odds.

As a final note related to that intended solemnity, I would genuinely not be surprised if you told me this movie was secretly funded by the Catholic church. It has a certain reverence for the faith that I have never seen in a movie like this; part of it is the aforementioned totally straight progression wherein everyone is as they seem, but also it's simply true that all the Priests are good guys doing their best. They make mistakes, but their mistakes are things the church regards as sins, and they are played as mistakes and simple human folly, never as malice. The power of prayer is genuine, evil is real, and God and Faith triumph. There are a LOT of movies, books, and games out there in which organized religion and/or priests are the Bad Guy or Corrupt, but this is one of the few I can recall where they are straightforwardly not.

Score: 4/10

IMDb: The Pope's Exorcist

PS: Another Russell Crowe appearance, in the Tom Cruise version of The Mummy (aka the Dark Universe) will forever be the all-time champion in Truly Forced Cinematic Universe Vibes, where it can't help but make half the movie about that setup while forgetting to actually make a movie first. I think there's a certain lesson to be learned about while audiences DO love shared universe continuity, what they are actually seeking is familiar/nostalgic characters, and so you have to provide those first. Anyway, this movie is really flagrant about setting up a pointless sequel no one asked for, but at least it had the decency to finish the movie first.

PPS: The biggest surprise, and part of why I thought "did the Vatican actually pay for this??" is that it is based on a real person's actual alleged "memoir." I found that very difficult to believe, but it is true. Actually kind of truly insane if you think about what happens on-screen in the film. Nonetheless it does help explain why it's so straightforward in its approach compared to a conventional horror movie thriller type story arc; this guy intended it as non-fiction in his book, and reality (especially Catholic reality) does not bend.


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