I have been consuming ninja turtles content since I was a small child, including the Game Boy video game, loads of movies, comic book adaptations, and of course the iconic cartoon series of the 80s/90s. Having said that, I am not a devotee and I only really saw this movie thanks to "National Cinema Day", which whittles ticket prices down to around five dollars apiece. The movie theatre was packed, so good job, executives! Please consider slashing (shredding?) your ticket prices a few more times per year.

Anyway, this newest reboot - Mutant Mayhem - yet again tells the origin story of the ninja turtles, beginning with their encounter with the ooze (not mystery goo), and their early childhood under the guidance of Master Splinter (Jackie Chan!!). Solo adoptive dad Splinter's neuroses manifest as strictness, and as such the turtles are forbidden to interact with humans, who are evil and bound to milk the turtles for their blood if they are caught (okayyy, Dad).

From there, we see the turtles grow until the present day - where it focuses on their experiences as fifteen-year-olds - isolated, drastically different from human teenagers, and unable to fully participate in normal life. Desperately longing to fit in, shenanigans ensue when they encounter high-school reporter April O'Neil (Ayo Edebiri), mutant supercriminal Superfly (Ice Cube), and a cast of other mutants including favourites Bebop (Seth Rogan) and Rocksteady (John Cena). The turtles finally realize they are not alone, and have pals they can relate to even if they have different experiences and hold vastly different ideologies. The film's two baddies amp up the tension - human villain Cynthia (Maya Rudolph) wants to harness mutant power to win the next tech/arms race; while Superfly steals equipment from Cynthia and is building a device to turn every human in the world into a mutant.

So: We have a story of teenage mutants longing to fit into regular society, meeting a peer group that turns out to be ideologically opposed to them, and then battling a head mutant who wants to turn everyone else into mutants too - if this sounds familiar, then congratulations! You may want to make this a double-feature with X-Men (2000), a movie franchise that did not get the accolades deserved (perfect casting for Professor X, Magneto, Cyclops, and Beast, not just that one other guy).

I went into this movie without any particular expectations, and thought it was great for a nostalgia-draw. The animation style is painterly, and a lot of care has been taken to design each turtle as their own unique character, not just four carbon copies with different colour eye-masks. The turtles may be heroic but they are not yet superheroes - they are teenagers who goof around, daydream, and have in-jokes and poor impulse control. The music is cool and again, the animation is beautiful in its own right. There are enough nods to pay homage to the past, and a good balance of things that are new, unexpected, and humorous to carry this heartfelt reboot through into its own franchise. I can't wait to see who they cast in the next one.

Score: 7/10

IMDb: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Guest Reviewer: Nicola Andrews, talented and prize-winning poet (which you can find more info about on her website). She also has the best cat and the worst husband.

PS: We will see how many more people I can con into writing these things other than myself, so you can see that not everyone is as curmudgeonly as I am.

PPS: This movie is notable for being the only movie in my review log that I have not actually watched.